I wasn’t totally happy when I saw the first card I’d pulled out of the deck. It’s called, Fear of Death, and the image isn’t exactly cheerful!
But, I thought, there’s a reason I randomly chose this particular card, so let’s go with it.
Listening back to what I said in the audio (below), about ‘Big Brother’ and being spied upon, might relate to the unease I’ve felt lately about certain social media platforms and how they gather so much personal information and store it in the unknown ethers (or sell it?).
My unease about such platforms may be why I have (accidently?) locked myself out of Facebook. No matter what I do, I can’t get back in.
After three days of trying repeatedly to ‘recover my account’ and going round in circles, but getting nowhere, I suddenly thought:
‘Maybe I’m not meant to get back into Facebook? Maybe I’m meant to be trying a new social media platform?
I was surprised and pleased to see the second card, which reminds me of my brother. My brother died young, taking his own life after suffering for years with a mental illness. The images in the card represent his new life, beyond here, surrounded by love, peace and clarity.
The third card is about listening to our intuition, asking for guidance and signs that we’re on the right track, and also trusting our own heart and hunches.
So, on to the reading and the audio!
I started by ‘speaking from the images’ within the first card, but wasn’t overly happy with what came out of my mind and mouth.
Even so, (whilst listening to that first bit on the audio makes me cringe a little), I haven’t deleted the beginning of the audio, in case it means something to someone. Y’never know.
First Card: Fear of Death
I am crow, alighting on the skulls, delighting(!) in the feast before me.
I am the child, with my feet bare, eyes wide with fear, scared of what I see before me. Alone, with no-one to comfort me.
I am the face of a being who does not see. I do not have the eyes to see. My face is covered and painted in designs of various shapes, and my skin is pierced. But I choose this (by choice.)
I am the woman who clings to my partner tightly. I am wide awake and he is fast asleep.
I am the eye (‘I am the I’?!) that looks out at you.
(Apologies for the chime-sound on the audio here.)
And I am the being within the eye that gazes at you. You do not see me immediately, and only see me if you look carefully.
Second Card: I Can See Clearly Now
When my brother died I did a lot of crying, and talked to him a lot, even though I couldn’t see him. I felt he could hear me.
One day, I was in the bath with the radio playing, crying tears into the water and saying I was sorry, wondering if I could have done more.
Then a song came on the radio and I knew and absolutely felt it was a message from my brother. Every word was meaningful, every word reached my heart. I could feel his love, and knew he was telling me, he was okay, and that he loved me.
And why wouldn’t he communicate through music? He loved music and read and wrote music and played guitar and bass guitar. I love music too, so what better way to reach me.
The song was, ‘Love is all Around,’ by Wet Wet Wet. And I believe that the ‘wet wet wet’ part was also my brother’s sense of humour coming through, seeing as I was in the bath at the time(!)
Right at the end of this post I’ve shared some of the song’s lyrics.
Third Card: Inner Guidance
Some of the lyrics from the song, “Love is all around,” by Wet Wet Wet:
“You know I love you
I always will
My mind’s made up
By the way that I feel.
There’s no beginning
There’ll be no end
Cos on my love, you can depend.
It’s written in the wind
It’s everywhere I go
So if you really love me, come on and let it show.”
And my brother certainly did show me, with that beautiful song-message.