A very honest audio update

Please listen to the audio below – this tells you exactly where I am at, in my Book One project.

I junked a long blog post (that had taken me days to write) and replaced it with this more open and real update.

Much Love to you!

I’ve added the transcription to the audio below. However, if you listen, rather than read, you will get the full experience.  You’ll hear my laugh, verging on hysteria, until (at the end) I calm myself down and try to look on the bright side (positive-optimistic-person that I try to be) ;-)

Transcription of Audio: 

Hello there, it’s Claire Gillen, I’m not sure whether I’m going to send this out as an audio blog post or not.  I’ve come up to my room. I have all my earliest diaries, spread out in front of me on the floor.  I’ve been trying to put them into date order and I realise what a huge task it is, the idea that I had, to somehow document my whole life via my diaries. 

My main task is obviously to get the first book out and it was going to be, what I thought was a Fast and Easy book.  And (that Fast and Easy book) would be, perhaps my very earliest diary, just transcribed with my comments alongside.  And I’ve done that.  And I’m not happy with it!   I wrote a very long blog post – and I’m not happy with that either . . . and an audio to go with it – and I’m not happy with that either.  So, I’m now a little bit . . . kind of stuck.  That’s exactly where I am at the moment.

(I then had to briefly pause the audio, to gather my thoughts and unstick my brain, in order to continue).

I’ve been thrashing this out with someone who knows me very well and I’ve been trying to explain myself to her.  Basically, I was saying that this whole thing, of putting my diaries into written form and publishing them, has been something that I have wanted to do, all my life, virtually.  

I suppose I (initially) got the idea in the early 80’s or late 70’s – Look! Where are we now?!

And there’s a reason for that, there’s a reason why this idea won’t go away.  I need to get this honest stuff out there.

I do not want to write fiction.  I don’t want to, necessarily this time around, make Fiction out of my diaries and add to them.  I want them as they are.  

But as I say, I’m looking at them here. They’re all over the floor.  I’ve put little post-it notes on every single one with,  dates and months and I’m  . . . I’m boggled.  I’m totally boggled.

So yeah, so that’s my Progress Update at the moment, and I’m sorry it isn’t more positive.  

I wanted the first book to be Fast and Easy, I wanted to get something out there, just to get something published and start the ball rolling really, get the first step on the ladder.

Um . . . but I suppose I’m too much of a blasted perfectionist and I want it to be amazing and I want to be, you know, happy with what I put out.  

I’m too . . . I over-complicate things.  I start with a simple idea then I over-complicate it.  Anyway! Look!  I’m fed up with this (laughter on the verge of hysteria) – I just needed to get this out.  And look, that is where I am at the moment.  

So, Angst-Ridden-Claire . . . 

I will figure it out. I will figure it out.  I’m gonna sleep on this, and I know in the morning, it will be clearer. And I think I will see the way forward.  At the moment, I’m feeling very frustrated and annoyed. But I know, I will see the way forward, after a good night’s sleep.  

So, I’m leaving it there. As I say, this started to be a long written post and a long audio post and this is all it is (now), just an audio post. But anyway, lots of love.  Good Luck! . . . with whatever you’re doing, and I send good luck to myself as well, and I shall pick this up in the morning.  Okay, bye for now.  Bye!